Thursday, April 19, 2007

Love or Responsibility?

Once upon a time, there was a boy (Mr B) and a girl, typical indian hindi film story, both had different backgrounds, different culture, one i.e. the gal from the south and the boy i.e. Mr B from the north(for south indians anything above them is north) to clarify here ..well Mr B was actually from west. They fell in love..went around for a while and finally decided that they should marrry each other. they proposed it to their respective families. Their family dint agree initially well north and south india culture difference, but finally after lot of convincing and debates they had a happy ending there, they got married.

They were both very happy and all in love with each other. Mr.B worked out of India for some time, the girl accompanied him and it was like their second honeymoon there in a new country. In the meantime they became parents to a lovely girl, who had some physical problems and they went here and there to different countries to treat the girl. Finally the girl was well treated. They went through a lot together, good times and bad times and stood by each other, parenting their child and enjoying each moment of her childhood. Both worked and were financially secure too, then for some reason (maybe they missed India) they decided to return to India.

Both went to work in B'bay and were glad they returned to India.Back to their family, their friends, back to their country, though sometimes they would miss little things of staying out of India, but they dint mind that and overlooked it. As most married couples do, they shared everything of each other their emails, their passwords, bank accounts everything. their kid was 4 years old now and went to school

One evening as she was casually browsing his emails, she noticed something different that shocked her at first and then it really hurt her. She was wondering how could he do that to her, how could he NOT tell her..how could he...is all she could think. He was in love with another woman, another married woman. She was very attractive and she'd found Mr.B attractive..both had a chemistry and both fell in love with each other, they'd managed to hide it for some time but not very long.

When Mr B came to know that his wife knows about his affair he thought she would leave him, but she dint, she still loved him, he moved out of the house for sometime, and still continued his affair with another woman and kept no relation with his wife, but he would visit his daughter often and do anything for her. He kept telling his girlfriend to move out of her house too so they would stay together, but she never moved out. He was getting little irritated with that, coz he had moved out, but he loved her a lot. Meanwhile the girlfriends husband came to know but seemed like he dint care much, he continued to live with her ofcourse no relationships with her. so Mr B moved out stayed alone, wife stayed with daughter in a sepearte house (where Mr B and his wife lived together) the girlfriend and her husband lived in their own house but no relationship with each other.

Mr B and his girl friend kept meeting each other often and continue with their relationship, He always asked her to move out too, but she dint. Mr B loved her a lot.

Mr B was a responsible man, who had some responsibilities to his kid atleast. Whenever she was sick he would meet her, take care of her. girlfriend did'nt approve much of this and one day when Mr B lent his car to his wife(when his wife's car was in garage) to pick up the kid. the girl friend was furious and abused him a lot and told that she dint want to see his face, Mr B was about to sign his own divorce papers that time took a step back and dint sign the papers, and returned to his home. He was tired of living by himself. Meanwhile his wife was taking care of herself and to let her out of depression would work out a lot in the gym which made her attractive too. Mr B did return to his house, but he still loved his g/f and dint have relationship with his wife, but his wife continued to love him. she dint tell him a word. She kept a neutral status.

After some days the girlfriend came back, apologized and said that she was insecure hence had behaved that way. Her husband left her too and she moved to her own apartment, things came back for Mr B and the girlfriend and they started going around again. But they were not like before, they loved each other but had their own (in)security problems. Mr B again suggested that they both live together in a seperate house, but she insists tht he move with her in her house.

He is ready to take a divorce, and though she lives seperately she has not divorced her husband yet. His wife continues to love him (she thinks that he might stray again coz he already did that once)and he feels guilty at times, and hates the fact that she loves him despite of his betrayal and feels he is being punished for falling in love again. He loves his girlfriend now, however instable that relationship is, he wants to continue with it but stays with his wife. His daughter is 7 years old now and might not understand his dads or moms feeling.

Past three years he is in love with his girlfriend and now for 6 months he is in a dilemma(he talks to all i.e. his wife, kid and g/f but does not keep relationship with either of the women, he wants to sort it out)
1. whether to go and stay with his girlfriend (in her house) which he does not want to he doesnt mind staying in a seperate house (male ego you see :0),
or
2. to leave his girlfriend totally ( coz she really gets very insecure at times)but he still loves her and come back to his wife as her husband to redeem his guilt more than that as a Father because he feels responsible for his kid
or
3. to just continue living the way it is.

I personally think he should go back to his family ,…call me orthodox but I feel he should chose responsibility over love and I totally agree with the straying part, but I maybe wrong.
What would you advise him..... to chose his intimate love or responsibility?

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

It is no longer abt the man any more. It is upto to the wife to decide.

He has anyways lost the respect.

Mr. J said...

Advice... Hmmm, Mr. Jerk should go jump in front of a train or something.

Sunita said...

The greatest gift a man can give his child is to love their mother. If that doesn't exist then in my opinion it makes no sense to choose your marriage over love because if not today, tomorrow your marriage will be on the rocks, and about choosing 'love', from what I read is an equally futile attempt.

puja said...

wel i think he shud choose to be with the one he loves most. As far as being a responsible father is concerned he did his job pretty well when he was anyways away from his kid. And if he does not love his wife i think it wud be of no use hanging on with the relationship as it wud just mean ADJUSTMENTS both ways..... where as distance will also help the wife to get her own identity as she seems to be far too involved in him

ams said...

I agree with Suni... The greatest gift a man can give his child is to love their mother!

Risha said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts all of you :-)

Unknown said...

They should seek counsel…. No body wants to be the villain… I guess one should short out their feelings.. for this sometimes you need professional help… and take it from there

Anonymous said...

Responsibility or intimate love...??
I guess MR B was in love with his wife before wasn't he? How wud you know if this time its Love that he is having with his girlfriend.
I think Mr B will go round and round and round .. one woman after the other.. it is this problem that he needs to deal with. Satisfaction can never be achieved unless you decide to have it.

Risha said...

@ Matthew : Welcome to my blog matthew, hope you drop by more often, Thanks for the lovely comments.

@ smiley : thanks for dropping by and sharing your thoughts :)

@All : Thanks for sharing your thoughts will let you know what happens :-)